ENGLISH July 14, 2010
THE DAILY BLIZZARD
The barefoot traitor has been caught after eluding the Antarctian police for 2 whole weeks! In those 2 weeks he had gone from routing for the left sided reds, to supporting the right sided blues. The PILOH (Penguin International League O' Hockey) nerds were angered, and of course called the cops. Oh,and he doesn't wear shoes. When he was caught waddling on a highway between the two home-sides with red and blue tattoos the Police had to enforce the law. So what they did was speak to him like a good therapist would: "DO NOT DO THAT!!!" in a very calming voice. After being caught he bought a house in south pole city, the only city in-between the two homesides. And has lived happily ever after working as a tree.
Left: The Barefoot Traitor working as a tree
Harry Otter fans are awaiting the release of Harry Otter And the Deathly Tundra. The first trailer for this 2-Part movie. Watching the movies in order shows how much the actors who plays harry, and friend's have grown up. (And I still can't get over the fact that "Harry" was nude in a play!!!) In the first movie he was a british pre-teen. Now he's like 48, and is still british! And from seeing year 6 the movies are getting more and more awkward. But who on earth understands british humor? I don't even think the british people could think that's funny. However, it is a little funny because you're just glad you're not them. But it's just the history of all this. When they replaced Dumlbesore for the second movie since the first guy died, it reminded me of the American movie "Babe" and how they replaced the pig numerous times after eating the last one. That's Americans for ya!
FUN FACT!:
Blue Cheese is actually just moldy cheese! Have fun eating!
Meow Mix Hit!:
Not for cat-food (cat's are dumb and unwanted in Antarctica). Many uses have been found for this cat food. A guide for the use of these is even being published. Preview: Use 1, see who can eat the most without gagging. Use 2, Glue to tennis balls and throw at Skua's while their trying to steal chicks. Use 3, Drop near Elephant seals watch as they taste and then snort them out through their snout/nose type thing's. Use 4, feed leopard seal, very funny. The book is coming soon to your local bookstore. Great christmas gifts for young chicks that love adventure. And the best part of Meow mix is the theme song! So annoying it makes you go nuts!!!
Harry Otter fans are awaiting the release of Harry Otter And the Deathly Tundra. The first trailer for this 2-Part movie. Watching the movies in order shows how much the actors who plays harry, and friend's have grown up. (And I still can't get over the fact that "Harry" was nude in a play!!!) In the first movie he was a british pre-teen. Now he's like 48, and is still british! And from seeing year 6 the movies are getting more and more awkward. But who on earth understands british humor? I don't even think the british people could think that's funny. However, it is a little funny because you're just glad you're not them. But it's just the history of all this. When they replaced Dumlbesore for the second movie since the first guy died, it reminded me of the American movie "Babe" and how they replaced the pig numerous times after eating the last one. That's Americans for ya!
FUN FACT!:
Blue Cheese is actually just moldy cheese! Have fun eating!
Meow Mix Hit!:
Not for cat-food (cat's are dumb and unwanted in Antarctica). Many uses have been found for this cat food. A guide for the use of these is even being published. Preview: Use 1, see who can eat the most without gagging. Use 2, Glue to tennis balls and throw at Skua's while their trying to steal chicks. Use 3, Drop near Elephant seals watch as they taste and then snort them out through their snout/nose type thing's. Use 4, feed leopard seal, very funny. The book is coming soon to your local bookstore. Great christmas gifts for young chicks that love adventure. And the best part of Meow mix is the theme song! So annoying it makes you go nuts!!!
Lost Fish!
If found call... that number on the left.
Reward: -P500.00
ENGLISH July 6, 2010
THE DAILY BLIZZARD
The North Pole's stock market has reportedly crashed. Well, it was going to happen what with them buying so much from china. (WHO NEEDS THAT MANY SOCKS ANYWAY!) Santa Claus their almighty warlord, ruler, and political leader is thinking of a plan to get their once wonderful stock market up and running again. Not much more has been reported and it's still unknown if this means their actual stock market is declining... or if a guy with a stock market van was in a terrible accident. (continued on same page)
Left: A cartoon from the North Pole's 'OMG! Gazette' (And Why's There A Panda?)
The "Fat Walrus Man" a chicks T.V. show is being discontinued. A beloved large walrus man is being fired for trying to talk about "how good coffee is" on his show. Coffee, released months ago is now illegal in Antarctica for it's long lasting "caffeine high" and "sugar rush" implemented upon those unfortunate penguins who became addicted. The fat walrus man will stand trial and possibly go to jail. Many sad penguin chicks are now looking for new favorite show's like "That 70's Show" or You-tube's "Harry Potter Puppet Pals". The Fat Walrus Man Show will be replaced by many re-runs of Meow Mix Commercials (which is strange because cat's are hated by the Antarctian peoples.)
(North Pole Stock Market con.):
Because of the North Poles stock market crashing Barrack Snowbama has decided to send Antarctian troops to rescue those involved in the crash. "If the news of this crash reached Antarctica, then it must have been a big crash we must act to make peace with our hated long nemesis's _pause_ the polar bears (said with much disgust)." states President Snowbama. The troops will send status reports through verizon cellular phones ('cause at&t stinks!). If their help is needed or wanted they will stay for however long necessary. If not they'll leave, come back to Antarctica, and have a happy retirement. :)
Antarctica's 4th Of July:
Antarctica's adopted holiday from the Americans (because it looked fun) went of with a blast this year! Since fireworks are prohibited in Antarctica what most residents did was got out a quarter Pebble (or two) and tossed them in the air. The fake fireworks were amazing, and overwhelming to those who got to watch or even participate in the holiday. In front of the capital building in South Pole City Penguins all around came to witness the grand display. Many members of congress threw coins high in the air. And for the finale President Barrack Snowbama threw the whole treasury's cash into the air (smart?) "It was the most wonderful thing i've seen in years" states anonymous man who witnessed the event.
The "Fat Walrus Man" a chicks T.V. show is being discontinued. A beloved large walrus man is being fired for trying to talk about "how good coffee is" on his show. Coffee, released months ago is now illegal in Antarctica for it's long lasting "caffeine high" and "sugar rush" implemented upon those unfortunate penguins who became addicted. The fat walrus man will stand trial and possibly go to jail. Many sad penguin chicks are now looking for new favorite show's like "That 70's Show" or You-tube's "Harry Potter Puppet Pals". The Fat Walrus Man Show will be replaced by many re-runs of Meow Mix Commercials (which is strange because cat's are hated by the Antarctian peoples.)
(North Pole Stock Market con.):
Because of the North Poles stock market crashing Barrack Snowbama has decided to send Antarctian troops to rescue those involved in the crash. "If the news of this crash reached Antarctica, then it must have been a big crash we must act to make peace with our hated long nemesis's _pause_ the polar bears (said with much disgust)." states President Snowbama. The troops will send status reports through verizon cellular phones ('cause at&t stinks!). If their help is needed or wanted they will stay for however long necessary. If not they'll leave, come back to Antarctica, and have a happy retirement. :)
Antarctica's 4th Of July:
Antarctica's adopted holiday from the Americans (because it looked fun) went of with a blast this year! Since fireworks are prohibited in Antarctica what most residents did was got out a quarter Pebble (or two) and tossed them in the air. The fake fireworks were amazing, and overwhelming to those who got to watch or even participate in the holiday. In front of the capital building in South Pole City Penguins all around came to witness the grand display. Many members of congress threw coins high in the air. And for the finale President Barrack Snowbama threw the whole treasury's cash into the air (smart?) "It was the most wonderful thing i've seen in years" states anonymous man who witnessed the event.
Brought To You By: Ice Crunchies
Here at Ice Crunchies we ensure no cardboard is added. With our all natural premium blend ingredients you'll for sure be satisfied. Add cold water for a refreshing cool taste! (WARNING: DO NOT EAT IF YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO ICE. THATS OUR ONE AND ONLY INGREDIENT IN THE MIXTURE. CHOKING HAZARD) The recipe for Ice Crunchies is completely confidential even though it's just ice. Have A Good Breakfast! :)
Wish we had milk eh?
ENGLISH June 20, 2010
THE DAILY BLIZZARD
The Oil Spill is frightening penguins who care about the enviornment (which means all of them) across Antarctica! The Oil probably won't go as far as Antarctica's shores and/or harbors but this could just be the beggenning. The humans have been using oil since ancient times. The idea of using it for transportation however is more recent. In the amount of time that there's been a major industry for it, and even a need for it there's been 1 major oil spill. Does this mean in that same amount of time we'll have another? Or even an increased amount of it. This is what has given birth to a foundation titled: "HUMANS SHOULD BE MORE LIKE PENGUINS!!!!" their campaign has been said obvious although I still have no idea what their purpose is...
Left: Humans Should Be More Like Penguins!!! Banner...peaceful
SHIZAM!!! Or as the chicks say. Shizam a new word invented and used by chicks is a word to describe something amazing or wonderful, or bad or inappropriate EX.: 1. Shizam! I just saw a space poodle!!!. 2. Dude! What's Your Problem!? Just shizam dude, shizam! An interview with a chick that uses this word allot:"Well one time my parents said SHAZAM! I was so embarrassed! Their magicians..."-anonymous chick. This strange word will be added to Iceters dictionary of next year.
KFC Debate:
KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) wants to place a restaurant on Antarctian soil, er Ice. Most say it would be close to cannibalism because Chickens are of the non-flying bird family and thus barely (not to bright) cousins of Penguins. This debate is barely a debate at all. The Cannabal Tribe of southern Antarctica wants the opening so they can dine without having to kill, roast, and eat anyone. "Cause eating our own species is wrong!" as the cannibals say "But it's Sooooooooo Good!" KFC after hearing the penguins view decided that if the penguins want it could become KFS (Kentucky Fried Skua). After that statement was made most penguins were all for it. But the cannibals are still disappointed, and vote KFC. KFC? or KFS? YOU DECIDE.
MEOW!!!:
Cat's a human pet as humans call them, have somehow gotten into Antarctica. One was spotted near a woman's restroom waiting patiently. These cat's are lazy buffoons. And thus are unwanted in Antarctica. If an animal is going to be in Antarctica it needs to pull it's own weight and not be lazy fat buffoons. It is very questionable how one found itself on Antarctican Ice. It has only been spotted once but has already got a criminal nickname: The Fat Ugly Furball that shouldn't be here but still is despite where it should be which is in a old lady in Americas hands where it would be pampered and become only fatter." Yes... That's A mouthful.
SHIZAM!!! Or as the chicks say. Shizam a new word invented and used by chicks is a word to describe something amazing or wonderful, or bad or inappropriate EX.: 1. Shizam! I just saw a space poodle!!!. 2. Dude! What's Your Problem!? Just shizam dude, shizam! An interview with a chick that uses this word allot:"Well one time my parents said SHAZAM! I was so embarrassed! Their magicians..."-anonymous chick. This strange word will be added to Iceters dictionary of next year.
KFC Debate:
KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) wants to place a restaurant on Antarctian soil, er Ice. Most say it would be close to cannibalism because Chickens are of the non-flying bird family and thus barely (not to bright) cousins of Penguins. This debate is barely a debate at all. The Cannabal Tribe of southern Antarctica wants the opening so they can dine without having to kill, roast, and eat anyone. "Cause eating our own species is wrong!" as the cannibals say "But it's Sooooooooo Good!" KFC after hearing the penguins view decided that if the penguins want it could become KFS (Kentucky Fried Skua). After that statement was made most penguins were all for it. But the cannibals are still disappointed, and vote KFC. KFC? or KFS? YOU DECIDE.
MEOW!!!:
Cat's a human pet as humans call them, have somehow gotten into Antarctica. One was spotted near a woman's restroom waiting patiently. These cat's are lazy buffoons. And thus are unwanted in Antarctica. If an animal is going to be in Antarctica it needs to pull it's own weight and not be lazy fat buffoons. It is very questionable how one found itself on Antarctican Ice. It has only been spotted once but has already got a criminal nickname: The Fat Ugly Furball that shouldn't be here but still is despite where it should be which is in a old lady in Americas hands where it would be pampered and become only fatter." Yes... That's A mouthful.
Brought To You By: Frozen Crumpets
It's Brit-Ish But Antarctian!!!
ENGLISH June 11, 2010
THE DAILY BLIZZARD
A new version of the folklore tale "Goldylocks And The Three Bears" has been released as a children's novel. In this exciting twist Goldylocks her name isn't Goldylocks. What happened was when she was born her not so bright father mistook her as a boy. So she was named Paul. Filled with anger by her name she goes into the woods. She knew of a bear family in the woods, and watches their home. Once the bears go for a picnic, she lights a torch and burns their house down. Oh did I mention she was pyro? In the end she gets arrested. THE END! But I don't want to give the whole story away. The author is Mr. Dr. IcabodIcent who must be a little coo-coo if you know what I mean.
Left; Picture From: "Paul And The Three Bears"
Brace-Lets:
Brace-Lets are on the rage in Antarctica. These new accessories are the kids hit of the month! (Would be year but toy officials don't believe they'll be popular that long.) The Brace-Lets company is making millions of P (Pebbles) a week! They are made from some sort of plastic made of corn(?). Even though I have no idea how that'd be possible. But if they said they did it, then they did! Each brace-let is P1.00 each. They're a fashion line with many different shapes colors sizes and a new design: Dipped in Toxic Waste! Hopefully it won't kill or mutate anyone! Ha-ha! ... Not a joke though. Seriously be careful with those ones.
A Miracle!:
An adult penguin recently learned how to speak! He was bumped in the head by numerous things as a child and wasn't exactly bright after that (NO OFFENSE!). Now with cyborg technology and the love of many people he has recovered. An interview with the mother: "I'm just so happy!!! Wahahahahaaha! Now he can tell me what he wants for lunch AND I WON'T HAVE TO MAKE 20 LUNCHES BEFORE HE ACTUALLY EATS ANYTHING!!!!!! But I'm so happy for his recovery! (crys).
Creme Glacee Voluer:
Is still on the loose, and stealing ice-cream. But recent reports could tell that this notorious bandit is more than one penguin. There were two reports of ice-cream robbery in the same day. But they were on opposite sides of Antarctica. Could this alleged thief have an accomplice? Or have others heard of this work and decided to follow him? If so I should probably shut up right now so as no others join him.
Brace-Lets:
Brace-Lets are on the rage in Antarctica. These new accessories are the kids hit of the month! (Would be year but toy officials don't believe they'll be popular that long.) The Brace-Lets company is making millions of P (Pebbles) a week! They are made from some sort of plastic made of corn(?). Even though I have no idea how that'd be possible. But if they said they did it, then they did! Each brace-let is P1.00 each. They're a fashion line with many different shapes colors sizes and a new design: Dipped in Toxic Waste! Hopefully it won't kill or mutate anyone! Ha-ha! ... Not a joke though. Seriously be careful with those ones.
A Miracle!:
An adult penguin recently learned how to speak! He was bumped in the head by numerous things as a child and wasn't exactly bright after that (NO OFFENSE!). Now with cyborg technology and the love of many people he has recovered. An interview with the mother: "I'm just so happy!!! Wahahahahaaha! Now he can tell me what he wants for lunch AND I WON'T HAVE TO MAKE 20 LUNCHES BEFORE HE ACTUALLY EATS ANYTHING!!!!!! But I'm so happy for his recovery! (crys).
Creme Glacee Voluer:
Is still on the loose, and stealing ice-cream. But recent reports could tell that this notorious bandit is more than one penguin. There were two reports of ice-cream robbery in the same day. But they were on opposite sides of Antarctica. Could this alleged thief have an accomplice? Or have others heard of this work and decided to follow him? If so I should probably shut up right now so as no others join him.
Brought To You By Ice-Way:
Eat Frozen!
Try The New 5-Pebble foot long!
Try The New 5-Pebble foot long!